


When love arrives.

by heyitsmiyako



Category: Sons of Anarchy
Genre: Alternate Universe, Bakersfield, Bisexual Female Character, Bodyguard Romance, Charming - Freeform, Drug Dealing, F/M, Flashbacks, Gambling, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Mafia Family, Prostitution, Single Parents, Smut, arms trafficking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-30
Updated: 2020-01-11
Packaged: 2020-05-31 09:33:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 19,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19423270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heyitsmiyako/pseuds/heyitsmiyako
Summary: “Tell me about the Sons of Anarchy.”“It's just a motorcycle club.” Happy wasn't afraid of her knowing more. They were both criminals, tainted people. He didn't have to act different, with her. They understood each other perfectly. Maybe that was why he had felt so attracted to her, since the beginning.Still, he didn't say anything else.





	1. Prologue.

Rain was still pouring down hard when a luxurious car pulled in front of ‘The Lady Casino’. Two men — one in his fifties and the other at least twenty years younger — emerged from it, two lackeys immediately on their sides, ready to shield them from the bad weather which had been haunting Bakersfield all day.

The four of them moved together, and as soon as the older was confronted with the entrance's glass wall, he couldn't help but giving it a long, disgusted look. Rain and mud had made the surface soiled, as if it hadn't been cleaned in centuries. Salvatore Jones, the owner, knew that wasn't the case. And yet, he still felt a little enraged.

As he moved inside the casino, he heard his son — Antonio — click his tongue in annoyance. Even if they owned the place, it was unusual for them to be there. Being king and prince of the city, they had so many areas to manage they needed to _give up_ gambling and prostitution to Snake Jones. That didn't mean they didn't have to check up on her, from time to time.

“Stop sulking,”, he reprimanded in the lowest voice tone possible. All eyes were on them, gazes filled with fear and confusion. Sal couldn't afford to appear weak or like he was having problems with his own son.

“I just don't like being here.” Tony explained, shooing their assistants away. They needed to be _alone_ for what was about to unravel.

Salvatore didn't even try to answer him and just continued moving towards the reception. A little woman with light blonde hair was standing behind the wood desk, faking a phone call. By how strongly she was gripping the phone, Sal immediately knew she had to be scared, too. A grin curved his lips upwards: fear was exactly what he wanted people to feel when he was around. He liked having the whole Bakersfield at his feet so, so much.

“I need to talk to Snake,”, he said, not even trying to make it _not_ look like he was ordering her around. He was the Boss, after all. He had every right to.

“I'm afraid she's not here, sir.” The receptionist chirped, in a strong Russian accent.

Sal scoffed. Then he gripped _Blondie_ 's wrist so hard the phone she was holding went flying. “How dare you,”, his voice was full of rage, “lie to me?”

Tony remained silent, motionless, his big blue eyes fixed on the girl behind the desk. He noticed her body starting to tremble and immediately knew she was about to give up. She had tried to protect her boss to no avail. Salvatore would always win, in the end.

“Boss is here.”

As soon as she heard those words come from the other side of the phone, Snake felt a strange mixture of emotions — all at once — leaving her scared and confused. First of all she wanted to run away, disappear and be hundreds of lifetimes distant from all her problems. Then she felt fear, puzzledom. Salvatore Jones, the man who took her in right after her mother's death, rarely visited ‘The Lady Casino’. And when he did, it was never good news.

In the end came an uncontrolled anger, and she felt betrayed by all the people who worked for her. People who perfectly knew _not_ to let in the Jones. People who had disobeyed her.

“I hope you'll excuse me.” Snake asked in the sweetest voice tone she could muster. All the men around the poker table she had been occupying looked at her while she stood up; apparently ready to leave, even before the match was over. No one dared to ask any questions, though, except for William Eafford.

“Is everything okay?”

Snake simply nodded, knowing full well if she talked she wouldn't sound convincing enough. William knew her better than anyone else in all of Bakersfield, probably, and by the look he was giving her, Snake was aware of the fact he didn't believe her. For a moment, she almost lost all of herself in the deep dark black of his irises, so painfully similar to Happy Lowman's ones. Her mind immediately went back to him, as it always did when she felt discouraged or scared. Happy was the one who had taught her not to be afraid of anything and even now that they weren't together anymore, he still was the only one capable of giving her the strenght she needed to go through life all on her own.

“How I wish you were still here...” Snake murmured, even though she knew how vain that was. Happy would _never_ come back, and she had learned to accept that. She had moved on, or at least she tried to. And yet, in moments like that, she missed him more than usual and wished he'd never left. Because, even after years and years since the last time they saw each other, she still needed him. And she forever would.

“Dad!”

Having always lived a life of lies, Snake had learned pretty fast to fake almost all her emotions. She always wore a mask, pretended to be someone she wasn't — so much that sometimes she forgot what it was like to actually _feel_ things and be open about them. She couldn't even remember the last time she smiled a genuine smile, and this wasn't one of them. At all.

“Hello, baby.” Sal responded, his voice tone and grin as fake as the one his _adoptive daughter_ reserved him.

He let her kiss the palm of his hand, and then sat down. Snake waited patiently for him to do so, knowing full well she wasn't allowed to accommodate herself until the two men did. Even if she couldn't stand Antonio and didn't spare him a glance, she still had to respect him. And she religiously did.

“What brings you here?” Snake asked, as soon as she sat down in front of Salvatore and his only biological son. She was still faking joy, even if everyone in that goddamn room perfectly knew how much she despised the both of them.

“I wanted to talk to you,”, the Boss started, “about Jaime.”

At the mention of her firstborn, Snake immediately tensed up. Sal's visits were _never_ good news and that was proof of it. “Is there any problem?”

“No, not at all.” Sal immediately reassured her. “We've just... Been thinking.”

Snake had to suppress a laugh. As if the Jones actually knew how to think. “About what?”, she asked anyway, trying to remain calm and serious.

“Jaime is almost sixteen, now. He'll be done with school in a few months. It's time for him to think about his future, isn't it?”

Of course. That's what this was all about. “Oh, but he has. He wants to continue studying in _Sacramento_ ,”, she felt the need to specify that, hoping it'd be enough to make it clear that Snake didn't want his son to leave the peaceful city in which he was born and raised, “And I'm gonna let him.”

“Uh, no. I'm afraid you're not, sweetie.” Sal murmured, stifling a laugh. He was having fun, the fucking bastard. “We already talked about this. You have little to no say in the matter.”

“I'm his mother,”, she spat out, suddenly enraged to no end.

As if Salvatore wasn't annoying enough on his own, Tony decided to get involved, too. “And I'm his father. So what?”

“Oh, shut the fuc—”

The Boss interrupted her before she could actually finish, and Snake had to lower her arm, giving up on the idea of hitting the man who she had _sadly and inexplicably_ loved so many years before. “Please. Act like a lady for once,”, he observed, his voice tone so full of disgust Snake immediately felt so ashamed she could die. “Jaime is gonna transfer here and take his place in the family business. End of story.”

That was it: all the power Salvatore Jones still had on her after so many years. Snake felt her eyes fill with tears while she looked at him, more helpless than ever. She used to think he was her savior, having spared her a life in the arms of foster care. He did, actually — but at what price? She wasn't free, anyway. Sal had been in control of each and every aspect of her life, and now he intended to do the same with Jaime. She couldn't let that happen, no.

“Oh, and, baby,”, the Boss added, just seconds before he was about to leave — Tony on his tail, as always. “please, have the entrance door cleaned. I want to actually be able to see my face in the glass next time I come by.”

There were many things Snake had learned to control, with time. Rage wasn't one of them. As soon as ‘The Lady Casino’'s dirty as fuck doors closed behind Sal and Tony, she got up and literally sprinted towards the reception, her high–heel shoes booming on the marble floor. Little blondie — Natasha, was her name — was still there, shuffling with some paper on her desk. Snake didn't bother looking into it: she had no time. Her anger was gonna eat her alive if she didn't do anything about it as soon as possible.

“You,”, she almost growled, literally pointing a finger in the receptionist's face. “in my office. _Now_.”

Snake didn't even wait for Natasha to follow. She just surpassed her desk and reached one of her office doors, which — by the way — were right behind it. Even if she couldn't see herself, she knew by the curious look one of the maids gave her — it was almost closing time and various ladies had already started cleaning — she had to be looking insane. Disheveled hair, red face, almost wheezing because of how upset her meeting with the Boss left her.

“Are you okay, ma'am?”, the maid, in fact, asked. She looked genuinely worried, and Snake decided she had to calm down just a bit, while the other woman's eyes went to the door again. Natasha had joined them.

Snake's lips curved in the most satisfied of smiles. It was showdown time and she absolutely couldn't wait. “I'm fine, Esther,”, she reassured, then turned around to look for Natasha's face again. “You owe me an explanation, _Nattie_.”

Esther had been working with her for ages and she probably knew, just by the mocking tone with which she pronounced the receptionist's name, how angry she must have been. “I'll get going, then. I'll come by later to finish cleaning her office, Mrs. Jones.” That's why she tried to split.

“Oh, no.” Snake murmured, the nth fake smile curving her lips, while one of her tanned arms blocked Esther's path. “Please, stay. I have some news for you, too.”

Esther's gasp was barely audible since she tried to hide it — that, and her sudden fear — but Snake heard it anyway, and almost felt guilty for causing it. She wasn't about to punish her, and didn't want her to think so. But her rage was even stronger, and it stopped her from wasting other time with shallow reassurances.

“I know you haven't been working with us for long,”, she started again, facing Natasha. “but I thought I was very clear about _not_ letting any of the Jones inside my goddamn casino, Blondie.”

The receptionist gulped nervously and avoided her gaze. She suddenly knew what this was all about and started feeling scared for what was going to happen to her. Snake Jones wasn't famous for her gentleness, after all. She loved each and every one of her workers, but the moment they fucked up, she showed no compassion. To anyone.

“Y–Yes, you had.” Natasha whispered, knowing Snake was waiting for her to say something before she could continue. At that exact moment, she just wished to get it over with as soon as possible.

“And yet, you still let them in,”, Snake clicked her tongue in annoyance, “why is that? Are you retarded, maybe?”

She was obviously just trying to rile her up, and Natasha — naïve as ever — immediately fell for it. “I let them in because the Boss asked me to. _He's_ the Boss, not you. You're not as powerful as him, and will never be. It's obvious whose orders I'm going to follow at the end of the day.”

“So you'd rather work directly for him?”

Natasha showed no hesitation. “Yes!”

“Exactly what I wanted to hear.” Snake smiled again, and the receptionist literally started beaming. Oh, little did she know... “Now _strip._ Both of you.”

Esther's mouth fell agape, but she didn't say anything — probably too shocked to do so. Natasha, on the other hand, didn't know how to shut up anymore — once the little kitten had gotten her claws out, she couldn't retract them. At least she was trying to defend herself.

“Sorry to disappoint, but I don't swing that way.”

Snake did. She had come to terms with her bisexuality so many years before. Was that little bitch mocking her for that, too? “Oh, you _did_ disappoint me. But not for this,”, she promptly reassured her. “I wouldn't have sex with you not even if you were the last woman on Earth. Now strip.”

She gave another look to Esther, knowing full well she wouldn't need to repeat herself. In fact, only moments later, the maid started getting rid of her pink uniform and Natasha gave up. Snake extended her arms in their direction — clearly waiting for them to deliver their clothes to her — and once they did, she just crossed them and gave them back. Esther instantly grabbed Natasha's suit, while the latter gave the maid uniform a disgusted look, refusing to take it.

“Hey, don't be like this.” Snake reprimanded, shoving what used to be Esther's clothes against her chest so hard Natasha stumbled back a little bit. “You said you wanted to work for Sal yourself. I'm just giving you the opportunity to. Boss wants the glass wall to _shine_.”

The room fell silent while both women exchanged clothes and Snake just looked at them, her arms crossed over her summery orange dress. She felt relieved, most of her anger now gone — so that she finally could think clearly about how to keep Jaime safe — but she still wasn't done.

That's why as soon as Natasha tried to grab Esther's cleaning equipment, Snake stopped her. “Oh, you won't be needing this,”, she whispered, her plump lips basically attached to Natasha's left ear. “I'm sure that tongue alone can do wonders.”


	2. When love arrives, say: “Welcome! Make yourself comfortable.”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Tell me about the Sons of Anarchy.”  
> “It's just a motorcycle club.” Happy wasn't afraid of her knowing more. They were both criminals, tainted people. He didn't have to act different, with her. They understood each other perfectly. Maybe that was why he'd felt so attracted to her, since the beginning.  
> Still, he didn't say anything else.

Sal had decided to let her handle part of his business exactly five years before. At first, Snake had felt overjoyed and excited at the idea of her _dad_ trusting her so much with his own work, but things showed their true nature rather quickly. She'd known from the beginning that taking her place as Bakersfield's princess wouldn't be easy, but her young and naïve self still didn't expect it to be that hard.

That's when, and why, Happy Lowman came into frame. One day, shortly after it had been barely eight months since she'd become ‘The Lady Casino’'s director, Sal went to see her. Snake had been holed up in her office all night, trying to make sense of all the paperwork she had to put up with in order to keep everything organized and functioning.

As soon as she saw him, she put on her usual mask, hiding away all her worries. She couldn't afford to appear weak or like she was having troubles with the job: Sal knew how to be ruthless with those who fucked up, and Snake was well aware of the fact that just because she was his daughter, that didn't mean she wouldn't lose her job if she didn't live up to his expectations.

She was ready to face him, but not the stranger who had silently followed Salvatore inside her messy office. Snake furrowed her eyebrows, high–key inspecting his face. Happy noticed that, but didn't say anything. He was doing the same, after all.

When the Boss offered him a job, he didn't expect he'd end up working for such a gorgeous woman. Snake Jones, Bakersfield's newest princess — and queen of gambling and prostitution — stood still behind her desk, a confused frown on her beautiful face. She was wearing heaps of make–up, her unnaturally long lashes and pink plump lips being clear indication of it, but Happy knew he would have found her really pretty nonetheless. Her long slim fingers were gripping the wood so tight the tanned skin of her knuckles almost turned white. It was evident how nervous she was, despite all her efforts to hide it.

“This is your new bodyguard.” Sal had simply said, and even before Snake could actually notice it, he was gone. His job of ruining yet another one of her days was done after all, and she was left _alone_ with the usual sense of rage who accompanied her at any moment — the only real emotion she was still capable of feeling — and Happy Lowman.

“Are you staying?” Snake asked, her voice tone harsh and hostile. She didn't like this, she didn't like _him._ But most of all, she hated Sal. Yet again her adoptive father had decided for her, as if he already didn't have absolute control over every single aspect of her miserable life.

Happy could feel her anger, and even if he didn't exactly know what was causing it, he understood. He was a stranger, after all, someone who was about to enter her life without warning. “I have to,”, he simply answered, not really in the mood to talk, even if he suspected he'd have to _a lot_. He gave Snake another long look — trying to not let her big, green eyes distract him — and knew by her expression alone she had to be having so many more questions.

“Make yourself comfortable, then.” Snake brushed some of her hair behind her ear before sitting down again, and Happy followed each and every one of her movements with a strange fascination.

He was feeling inexplicably attracted to her, and feared her beauty had very little to do with it. She had blonde hair that barely reached her shoulders — her dark roots indication of the fact it was dyed — and was wearing a black strapless dress who did great justice to her sexy body. Happy was having such a hard time keeping his eyes on her face and not her boobs — which, by the way, were _huge_.

He cleared his throat with haste, hoping to get rid of such impure thoughts. “I can wait outside.”

“Sit.”

What was just an invitation, initially, had now transformed into an order. Snake wouldn't settle for a no, and Happy felt yet another rush of heat going straight to his groin at how authoritative she'd sounded. At first glance she'd striked him as a young, naïve woman who needed protection and help. Her bossy turn and the glare she was giving him, though, made it clear she was way more than just that.

Happy didn't like taking orders, unless they came from the club, and yet he sat down almost immediately. So Snake took her chance to continue talking, now much more relaxed. “You don't look like a bodyguard.”

“'Cause I'm not wearing a suit?” Happy asked, one of his eyebrows raised in confusion and amusement. He was in his usual attire — Sons of Anarchy's kutte, t–shirt, jeans, boots — and instantly knew that had to have something to do with her statement.

“Also,”, she confirmed, in fact.

“I come from another job.”

“What job?”

“Mechanic.” It wasn't a lie, but not the complete truth either. Snake probably wasn't entirely convinced: Happy had seen her eye his patches with suspicion, and she wasn't stupid, so she must have known immediately there was more to him than he was letting on.

“I don't trust you,”, she whispered, in fact.

“I don't care.” And he actually didn't. Yet.

Defeated, Snake decided to change topic. “You have a schedule? Sal tell you how many hours a day I'll need a babysitter for?”

Happy shrugged, counting to ten before he answered. It was evident how upset she was, and he couldn't afford to make things worse with his rough way of talking and doing things in general. It was so out of character — him being so invested in another person, caring about how he acted even if they barely knew each other — and Happy tried to convince himself he was just being professional and avoiding some sort of crisis — he was terrified Snake could start crying at any moment, and he absolutely didn't know how he'd console her — and not turning soft already.

“You need to call me when you want or need to be out of the house. I know there's people there who can watch you,”, Snake snorted and rolled her eyes, momentarily interrupting him, “but outside, you're alone and unprotected. Most of the times, anyway.”

Her lips were still curved into a sad–looking smile when Happy finished talking, and he felt — again — a burning desire to kiss her. “I can protect myself.”

Happy shook his head. “Not yet, princess.” And not for long either.

S _he goes to the same job everyday_

_she's overworked and underpaid, just 'cause the way her body's made_ — _ain't that insane?_

_If you never been told how you gotta be, what you gotta wear, how you gotta speak_ — _if you never shouted to be heard_ — _you ain't lived in a woman's world_

_And if you can't see that it's gotta change_ — _only want the body and not the brains, if you think that's the way it works_ — _you ain't lived in a woman's world, no_

Five years later, Snake was still in her office when a man joined her. But it wasn't Happy, of course.

“Were you looking for me?” Richard asked, taking a seat in front of her even before Snake could actually tell him to. He had been her assistant for ages now, and the first person she felt the need to call for help.

“Sal wants to bring Jaime here.” She went straight to the point, not wanting to waste any more time.

“Ouch.”

Snake nodded. _Ouch_ , indeed. “I need to see the Dragon.”

“The Dragon?” Richard repeated, his eyes as big as saucers. He knew his boss would want to do something to stop Sal from bringing her firstborn in the big mess of a life they all lived, but still didn't expect anything like this. Shocked was an understatement for how he actually felt.

Dewei Huang, also known as the Dragon, was one of Bakersfield's biggest drug–dealers. His one and only nemesis, the Moore family, had been Sal's business partners for _decades._ They made a great job of supplying junk to the Boss, who then proceeded to sell it and make tons of money. That's why Snake knew they'd never betray Sal: they were too loyal to him, and their partnership worked too well for them to give it up. So why not seek the help of the counterpart?

“The enemy of my enemy is my friend.” Snake observed, as soon as she was done illustrating her plan to Richard.

He didn't look convinced, though. “Cynthia, this is too dangerous.”

“ _Do not_ call me that.” Richard was one of the few people who knew her actual name, and when to use it. Snake didn't like it one bit: it was a pitiful reminder of her dead mom, the family she'd lost, how sad and alone she'd been when people still used to call her that. Snake hadn't just changed her name, but her whole self and the life she lived. For better or for worse, she still didn't know.

“I don't want you getting hurt.” He sounded sincerely regretful, and worried.

“Nobody will. You just have to trust me and do what I say.” Snake reassured, now calm again. “So. Can you set up a meeting or do I have to ask someone else?”

Richard remained silent for a bit, probably thinking about what he actually wanted to do. Then he asked: “Where do you wanna see him? It can't be Bakersfield, you know.”

Of course. Sal would have found out about it in an instant. They had to be smarter, do everything behind his back and from the inside. If her plan actually worked the way Snake hoped, the Boss would be dethroned by the end of the year. She smiled at the sole thought of that, then decided to answer Richard's question. “Charming,”, her assistant's eyes went wide again, “tell the Dragon I'll see him there.”

“Sorry, baby, but I have to say this: you'd be terribly easy to kill.”

Snake opened her eyes to the sound of William's voice, and realized — as soon as his tall figure entered her still blurry vision — she'd fallen asleep. It had been another rough day of work. Luckily, she managed to get home pretty early — the yellow clock on the wall told her it was a little past midnight — but fell asleep even before she could have her usual long, warm bath, and a glass — or maybe ten — of red wine.

“When did you arrive?” Snake asked, stretching her sore muscles while sitting up on her blue leather couch. She was still wearing the black dress she'd chosen that same morning, and during her impromptu nap it had moved around so much she was now showing even more cleavage than before. William seemed to enjoy that.

“Ten minutes ago. I put Luz to sleep,”, he explained, and Snake lost all desire to nag him for staring at her boobs — he was still married, for fuck's sake! — as soon as she heard her daughter's name.

“Did anybody see you?”, she asked, paranoid as only someone who had a big secret — or maybe a thousand — could be.

“Nobody did.” William reassured, following her through the house, knowing perfectly well Snake was headed for what turned into Luz's room every time she was there. Which was not even nearly as often as Snake would have liked. That's what you get for hiding a daughter, though. “You always ask me that.”

“I'm always worried.” Snake snapped, her back still facing him, too concentrated on Luz's little figure. Now that she'd seen her again, sleeping soundly, she could finally _breathe_. “Sorry. What brings you here?”

William raised one of his eyebrows, his shoulder against the door frame and arms crossed over his chest. “Can I not come see my friend?”

Without realizing it, Snake immediately copied his stance. “And risk getting caught? How would you explain a midnight visit with _your daughter_ to Bakersfield's princess' house? I'm curious.”

“Fine.” William huffed, rolling his eyes. “I'm leaving tomorrow. Business trip. I figured you'd like spending some time with her.”

Snake was left speechless, confused but also immensely grateful. Nobody except her and William's family knew she was actually a mother of two: she had to give Luz up even before she could actually accept the idea of having a daughter. Snake didn't even want to think about what could have happened if only Sal knew about her, and most importantly, about the fact she wasn't _Tony's_. Who was, even if just legally, still her husband.

“Iris isn't gonna be home, either.” William told her, satisfying her curiosity about what was his wife up to. “If somebody asks, tell them we hired you as our babysitter.” He winked, and Snake felt the immediate need to laugh at how childish he was.

“Don't worry,”, she reassured. “I'm leaving, too.”

“Where to?”

“Business trip,”, she said, now her turn to wink. She'd just used his same _excuse._

William was her only friend, but that didn't mean he had to know everything. And he never asked either. He always waited for her to talk to him. Snake could have never been grateful enough.

As soon as he left her house — not before showing her the bag he'd packed, full of all Luz's stuff she couldn't keep there — she went back to her daughter's room. William had put her between two big pillows and the baby still slept peacefully, her little fists clenched. Snake caressed her dark hair, then the olive skin of her cheek. “Maybe it's finally time you meet Happy Lowman, too.”

_That's why her hair is so big:_

_it's full of secrets_

A couple of months after he'd officially become her bodyguard, Happy entered Snake's office only to find her sprawled out on her desk. She wasn't sleeping, though, because as soon as she heard the door open, her head perked up. Her green eyes — full of fear — met Happy's for just a second, before she realized it was him and relaxed again.

“I need coffee,”, she murmured, her voice muffled against the wood desk.

“You know where the bar is.”

“Please, I'm so hungover.”

Happy watched her natural pout grow even more accentuated and almost caved in. “Whose fault is that?”

Snake didn't answer, just kept on whining. The night before she'd gone to a party she shouldn't have attended — Happy had club business and couldn't have been there to keep an eye on her, so he had asked her not to go, but Snake didn't listen. As always. Happy was convinced she got off on the idea of constantly doing the exact opposite of what he told her.

“I know, I'm such a dumbass.” Snake whimpered, trying to fix her white t–shirt. Just looking at how crinkled it was, Happy supposed she didn't even change from the night before. Did she get _that_ wasted? Her runny make–up and disheveled, wavy hair screamed yes. “Have pity on me and go get me a coffee?”

“My job is to protect you. I'm not your fucking secretary.” He wouldn't budge, that time. No. Absolutely not.

“Your job is to keep me alive. Which isn't gonna happen if I don't drink some coffee, as soon as possible.” Snake explained, taking off her heeled sandals and crossing her leather–clad legs. “C'mon, nothing's gonna happen to me here. You might as well take a trip to the bar. Unless you want me to fire you.”

Happy would have found another job instantly, and yet, that idea didn't sit well with him. He cursed under his breath for the nth time before silently retreating for the door. He was giving up yet again.

Snake's lips curved up in the biggest of smiles. “Two sugars, please!”

“How does a mechanic end up being a bodyguard?” Snake had barely begun sipping her coffee, but she already felt so much better.

Happy didn't like talking — or hearing people talk — and yet he was grateful she did, snapping him out of his reverie. As soon as her voice filled his ears again, in fact, his black eyes moved away from her lips. They were still closed around the red straw of her coffee cup, and while she contently sipped away, Happy had found himself thinking about how those same plump lips would look — and most importantly _feel_ — wrapped around his cock. He was going insane, for sure.

“He needs money,”, he answered, his voice even raspier than usual. He was so turned on, and ashamed. And terrified. He didn't even want to think about what would have happened if Snake figured all of that out.

“For what?”, she asked nonchalantly. She looked relaxed, while playing with her multiple necklaces and drinking away, which instantly calmed him down, too.

Happy's head filled with images of his sick mother, the truth being he went back to Bakersfield because he wanted and needed to be closer to her. He even gave the club up, something he wouldn't have done for any other woman. Or man. Her medications were starting to become unaffordable, for him: that's why he needed another job, and how he and Snake met. It wasn't the right time to tell her, though. “That's none of your business.”

“Okay, then,”, she shrugged. “Tell me about the Sons of Anarchy.”

“It's just a motorcycle club.” Happy wasn't afraid of her knowing more. They were both criminals, _tainted_ people. He didn't have to act different, with her. They understood each other perfectly. Maybe that was why he'd felt so attracted to her, since the beginning.

Still, he didn't say anything else.

But Snake wasn't stupid, and she knew he was keeping things from her. “I did some research on that, you know? I thought it sounded familiar. Now I know why,”, she explained, as soon as she managed to stop chuckling. “My brother is in it.”

“Your _what_?”

“Yeah. My brother. Well, step–brother. Name's Kip. He's in Charming. Maybe you know him?”

Happy shrugged. “No. All the other boys from mother charter, yes. But no Kip.”

“I'm not lying!” Snake shrieked so loudly Happy couldn't help glaring at her. He didn't even think she was, why did she have to get so worked up about it? Happy didn't have time to do or say anything, though, because Snake jumped up quickly and went to him. “He even send me a photo. See!”

“Half–Sack?”

Snake's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “What did you just call him?”

“He's your brother?”

“ _Step–_ brother. But yeah. Told you.” If possible, Happy felt even more confused than her. And shocked. “What is it?”

“I don't know. You two look so different.”

“We are.” Snake confirmed, but she didn't say anything else. Happy didn't ask either. He didn't know it, at the time, but eventually she'd spontaneously open up to him — when he left for Charming, Snake let him go at one condition: he had to take care of her brother for her, since she couldn't.

Happy broke his promise shortly after.

Realizing he wasn't about to add anything else, Snake decided to fill the silence with a _new_ topic. “Will I ever see you in a suit?”

“Not even at my funeral, princess.”

“Boohoo.”

Happy fought the urge to roll his eyes. Flirty–Snake made her first appearance of the day.

Despite their rough start, it'd taken her a rather short amount of time to grow accustomed to Happy's presence in her life. And apparently, she felt as attracted to him as he did to her. Which Happy didn't understand at all.

Snake had no filters and she always said what she wanted to, even if sometimes she didn't mean it. Happy still hadn't figured her out. She was royalty, after all, and he was just... Happy. Why would someone like her ever be interested in someone like him? Happy didn't know, and he didn't actually care either.

He had been trying so hard to _resist_ her, but Snake evidently liked making things even harder for him.

Suddenly, Happy wished they could go back to Kip's nickname. Talking about his literal half–sack would have been way easier than trying to fight his urges.

In a moment of pure insanity, Happy found himself wondering if Snake actually knew about her step–brother's lackings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With me having a Monday to Saturday job, Sunday is really one of the only two days — I actually have Tuesdays off, too — I can try updating this story / writing. I'll do my best to stick to this plan, and unless I'm spending the whole day outside or doing boring stuff I can't deal with when busy with work, you'll have new chapters every Sunday. Or Tuesday. Whatever.  
> Hopefully you'll enjoy reading this story. Please, let me know. I'd appreciate it so, so much.


	3. Where did it go — the love that we shared?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find me on twitter @JAYBAEAOM. ♡

Despite having known Happy Lowman for more than half a decade, Snake had visited the Sons of Anarchy's clubhouse just _once_ before. In the saddest of circumstances, too.

As soon as images from Kip's funeral started clouding her mind, Snake shook her head and tried hard to shoo them away. She had no time to be sad.

The moment her green eyes met her step–brother's baby blue ones, though — pinning her to the ground, as if they could look inside her soul through the mugshot hung up on the designated wall — she couldn't help getting teary.

“I miss you so much,”, she whispered — her voice cracking on the edge of the last word she pronounced — gently caressing the black band symbolizing death who had been attached to Kip's frame, “I'm sorry. I lov—”

A hand fell on her naked shoulder — she was wearing a summery dress covered in gaudy colors, a very dark contrast to her actual mood — before she could finish talking. “Love?”

Snake could have recognized that accent _anywhere._ “Hi, Chibs,”, she chirped, smiling one of her usual fake smiles. She couldn't let him see the mess a single photo had already made of her. She needed to be stronger than ever. She had a son — well, actually, two — to protect.

“I can't believe it's really you!” Chibs exclaimed, his chocolate eyes — so different from Kip's ones, and yet so _familiar_ — twinkling with excitement, while he opened his arms in a silent invite to hug him — something Snake instantly did. She didn't expect his betrayal to arrive that soon, though. “Hap! Your Old Lady's here!”

Snake went rigid, still in Chibs' arms, and he probably noticed that, because he let her go instantly, almost giving her a chance to run away. Snake was tempted, for a moment. She found herself wondering if she'd made the right choice, if Happy seriously was the only one who could help her save her son. A mean voice inside her head suggested: he couldn't even keep your brother safe...

“What the fuck are you talk—”

Snake had heard, once, that the first thing people forget about someone who's far is their voice. She could never forget Happy's, though. It still haunted her every night, even after it'd been more than two years since the last time they saw each other. It hadn't been the best of reunions, and Snake feared this one wouldn't be much different.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” After what felt like centuries of heavy silence, Happy changed question, finally aware of the fact _Snake Jones_ was actually in front of him.

Even before she could try answering, she heard her name being called for the nth time and whipped her head in Juice's direction, grateful for that interruption. “Hello,”, she waved, smiling at Bobby and Tig, too.

“You look great, doll.” The latter observed, kissing her cheek. Happy growled.

And Snake knew she couldn't procrastinate anymore. He wanted and deserved an answer. “I need help,”, she admitted, looking for his dark angry eyes yet again.

Happy seemed to relax, even if just a little bit. His face filled with worry — he'd never admit it, but Snake knew how to read him better than anyone else — just like the ones of all the other guys. Snake's eyes remained fixed on Happy, though. He looked great, too. So much better than when they were together. He was in his real element, after all.

Jax's voice took her straight back to reality, before it was too late. “Right on time for Church.”

“I know most of y'all didn't catch the full story, last time I was here, so. I'm Snake. Kip was my step–brother. Our mum was a junkie, and a prostitute. We used to live in Mexico, before she decided to transfer to Bakersfield. She thought we deserved more. Ended up working for Salvatore Jones, city's Boss. And when I was nine years old or something like that, one of her clients got a little _too rough._ She died. Sal took me in a week later. I still don't know why.”

Snake had been inside Chapel for less than ten minutes, and already managed to tell the Sons of Anarchy's bikers half her life story. That's what nervousness always did to her: she transformed into a rambling, exasperated mess. They didn't even need to ask: Snake had started talking on her own. Part of her knew asking the Sons of Anarchy for help was the right choice, but the other just wished she didn't. As a compromise, she'd just promised herself she'd get things over with as soon as possible, then go back to her motel room and let Luz do her magic. Her daughter was literally one of the very few people who _always_ managed to calm her down.

“What about Half–Sack?” Clay asked, distracting her from her line of thoughts.

“It's Kip.” Snake corrected, almost growling. She'd learned, with time, it wasn't a _bad_ nickname. Actually, she was convinced that was the only way the Sons of Anarchy knew how to show affection — through sarcasm and punches. That didn't mean she liked it, though.

Happy just shrugged. “Whatever, princess.”

Snake winced, that epithet now distant and hurtful. A sad reminder of what she'd become and didn't want to be anymore. “That's not my name,”, she reprimanded, her green eyes fixed on Happy's figure. He looked calm, relaxed, totally unbothered. Snake, on the other hand, had felt on the verge of tears since entering that damn clubhouse.

“What history do you two have, exactly? I didn't catch that either.” Juice _—_ sitting on her left _—_ observed, confused. “Is she really your Old Lady?”

“ _No_.” They'd never been more in sync, not even in the best moments of their weird relationship. Snake's lips curved into a sad smile at that thought, before she decided to just let it go and continue with her story. Happy had denied so quickly, as if the sole thought of her being his Old Lady almost appalled him. Of course. “For some reason, Sal didn't care about Kip. He got into foster care, and as soon as they could get rid of him, he joined the military. We kept in touch, but never saw each other again. 'Till he died.”

Snake paused for a moment, trying hard to swallow the lump in her throat. Bobby was sitting on her right, and she instantly felt one of his hands on her arm, in a not–so–unexpected caress that gave her all the strenght she needed to keep talking. “Sal saved my life, but not for free. _Everything_ has a price in his world, and I learned it the hard way. I don't want my son to be part of it, too.”

“Your son?” Chibs was shocked to say the least. Snake briefly wondered about what he'd say if he found out she had a daughter, too.

“I was fourteen when Bakersfield's prince got me pregnant. It's Sal's only grandson we're talking about, and he's dying to have him join the family business. Jaime's not even sixteen,”, another short pause, and Snake felt her cheeks go red with embarrassment, “I wasn't ready to be a mother, at the time, so Sal got rid of him. Left him with friends in Sacramento, where he was born. He has a good, normal life, there. Away from me and the mess I live in. I want to keep things this way.”

Jax nodded in deep understandment, and then leaned back in his chair. There had been many changes at the table since the last time she'd been in Charming, and he was now President of the Sons of Anarchy's MC. Snake didn't know how that happened, and wasn't so sure she even wanted to. “So, what's your plan? How can we help you?”

“I need your guns. Sal has power over everything, but for the last couple of years I've already started working behind his back.” She _had_ to, when she found out she was pregnant with Luz. That little baby enlightened her on so many things, including the most important of 'em all: she couldn't live that way anymore. She needed to fight for herself and her kids, in hope the day where they could all be free from the Joneses and finally reunited, would come as soon as possible. “He's weaker, now _—_ not as strong as he used to be. I hold all power over gambling and prostitution, in Bakersfield. Plan is to do the same with all the other stuff Sal's involved with. You can help me with guns. And drugs, too.”

“I'm afraid you've come to the wrong place for that, gorgeous. We don't deal.” Tig sounded almost offended.

“I'm not asking you to.” Snake clarified, fearing he'd get angry at her because of some stupid misunderstanding. “I just need protection. I'm meeting with one of Bakersfield's biggest traffickers. Sal and he have been at war for years. I'm not the only one who wants the Boss out of the picture, luckily.”

Chapel fell silent again, and Snake found herself thinking about how her kids were literally the only purity and innocence she had left. She absolutely couldn't lose that, too.

“Swing!”

Snake smiled tenderly at Luz, ravished by all the enthusiasm with which she'd been describing her afternoon visit to the park. Knowing she'd be pretty busy _—_ sadly _—_ Snake had asked Luz's babysitter to follow her to Charming, so that her daughter would have fun even when she wasn't around. Apparently, her plan was working perfectly.

“Oh, yeah?”, she asked, still covering Luz's naked body with a moisturizing lotion. She just had her evening bath, and now they were getting ready for bed. “What else did you do at the park?”

Luz went back to blabbering, her words occasionally stopped by laughter. She was so, so ticklish, and Snake never gave the occasion to tease her up. Her daughter seriously had the cutest laugh in the whole wide world. Snake swore it was the cure to anything. In fact, she felt so much better already. Every single moment with her was _sacred_.

Snake just wished they weren't so scarce. She'd already missed everything about Jaime: his first word, first good grade, maybe even his first love. She'd never been there for him. That's why she needed to do everything she could to make sure Luz didn't suffer the same destiny.

A sudden knock on her room door brought her back to reality, and Snake straightened up abruptly. “Did Irene forget something?”, she asked, even if Luz couldn't fully understand what she wanted to know. The kid just registered her babysitter's name, and started chanting it while her mother went to answer the door, a rare genuine smile on her face. Her _euphoria_ was short–lived, though. “What are you doing here?”

The most unexpected visitor was standing right in front of her. Snake scrutinized Happy Lowman's face for what felt like centuries, her hand gripping the door's handle so tight it almost hurt. She wanted, needed, deserved to know if he really was as fine as he said or acted like. Had she really been that irrelevant, to him? Nothing more than a good lay, as he once told her?

“Mami!” Luz exclaimed, and her voice _saved_ Snake once again. She turned around, as if Happy didn't even exist _—_ how she wished it was true... _—_ and saw her daughter standing at the edge of the only double bed her room had.

Happy watched her rush to the baby, holding her close to her chest as soon as she picked her up. It undoubtedly was her daughter. Amidst the strange mixture of emotions which had crushed him all of a sudden, Happy felt something very similar to fear. He'd never been scared before meeting Snake. And now there he was, standing in a messy motel room, realizing she'd seriously moved on. Happy knew he had no rights to be angry, and yet.

“You and Tony back together?”, he barked, and Snake almost jumped, holding Luz closer to her.

“God, please, no,”, she denied, kissing her daughter's forehead. “She doesn't even look like him.”

 _She looks like you._ Snake didn't say that, and still, Happy suddenly knew. He looked into the baby's big, round, black eyes _—_ exactly the same as his _—_ and felt immensely stupid for not noticing the uncanny resemblance instantly. Luz had his same hair and skin color, maybe even his resting bitch face. She looked nothing like Snake and everything like him. Poor baby.

“No...”, he growled under his breath, refusing to believe what was indeed the obvious truth. He wasn't ready to be a father, oh God. How the fuck did they end up like this?

“Yes.” Snake sighed. She looked exhausted _—_ both physically and mentally _—_ and even if she was wearing nothing fancy, Happy couldn't help thinking about how beautiful she was.

“ _No_ ,”, he felt the need to repeat, as if that'd change anything. Snake scoffed, not sparing him a single glance. Instead, she stayed focused on her _—_ or, apparently, their _—_ daughter, fully concentrated on the most important task at hand: putting her in her PJs.

“Pee–jay on!” Luz exclaimed as soon as they were done, jumping up on the bed again and kissing Snake's lips. Happy watched the two of them together and realized this could have been his life if things for him and Snake took a different _—_ better _—_ turn, many years before. He couldn't decide if he would have loved it or hated it. He just felt so, so scared.

A single glance in his direction was enough to notice that, and even if Snake feared she'd crumble down at any moment, she kept her glassy eyes fixed on Happy's figure. She'd missed him. Terribly. Despite everything and anything. She had missed him.

“Last time we were together,”, she started, her voice cracking with incoming tears. Luz seemed to sense that, because she immediately started whining and raised her arms, in a not–so–silent invite to be picked up. Snake obeyed immediately, and while Luz cuddled into her _—_ her little fingers wrapped around her favourite bunny toy _—_ she continued talking: “Do you even remember when it was?”

Of course he did. “Couple years ago. After your brother's funeral.”

It hurt to think about that. It seriously did. Happy would never admit it _—_ nor show any sign of it _—_ but Half–Sack's death had been very rough for him, too. It was failure, the definite breaking point of what he and Snake had managed to _build_. He couldn't keep her step–brother safe, and even if part of him knew perfectly well it hadn't been his fault, Happy still felt guilty of causing Snake so much anguish.

She didn't know any of that, though, and probably never would. So she just nodded. “Luz will turn two next March. Do your math.”

Happy had many, many secrets. Things not even Snake knew. And she wasn't any different, as always. They were even, right? So why did he feel that betrayed? “Why the fuck didn't you tell me?”

“Why the fuck should I have done that? It's not as if you'd ever want her. Or _me_.” It felt only natural to copy Happy's voice tone, and his anger instantly became hers. A little while later, Snake would feel bad for cursing in front of Luz, but in that moment, her rage was too blinding to care. “I'm not your Old Lady, no matter how many times your brothers call me that. We'll never be family.”

It was the truth. Nothing but the _painful_ truth they lived in. “You're right.” Happy confirmed. “But I still deserved to know.”

Snake avoided his gaze again, distracting herself in search of a book to read with Luz before she finally went to bed. Judging by how silent the baby had gotten, she must have been crazy tired, too. “Now you do,”, she observed, still not facing Happy, hoping that'd be enough to make him understand that conversation was over. “I have to put her to bed. Goodnight, Happy.”

For the first time in what felt like centuries, Happy moved his eyes on Luz's figure _—_ he'd been so scared to look at her, as if by doing so she'd become even more _real —_ and saw the two years old wave one of his little, puffy hands in his direction. “'Night, 'night!” She even smiled at him.

Happy swore he could feel his heart shattering into a million pieces. Snake's was, on the other hand, already broken _—_ and there seemed to be no hope of fixing it, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Plot twist? LMFAO.  
> Please, let me know what you think. Next chapter will hopefully be posted on Sunday.


	4. Love disappeared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find me on twitter @JAYBAEAOM. ♡

One day, a couple of years earlier, Snake had been shook awake by a phone call. It was Charming PD, wanting to know if Edward Epps was her brother. That question alone was enough to fill her with dread. Snake remembers jumping up in bed, already shaking. She tried so hard to stay focused on Chief Unser's words, to not let her worry overcome her, but all her resolutions crumbled down as soon as she heard the word _dead._

Eddie Epps was dead. Her step–brother, the only family she had left. Dead. Just like their mother.

Time and pain had made everything else confused and hazy, but Snake would never forget her trip to Charming _—_ the last time she saw him, and Happy Lowman. The latter had been waiting for her in TM's parking lot, and as soon as Snake recognized his tall figure, she couldn't help running to him.

All the way down to there, she'd wished it was all just a big, ugly nightmare. Judging by the sad look on Happy's face, though, Snake knew what she was experiencing was nothing but the painful truth. Happy held her tight in his arms, and Snake instantly let go of all the composure she'd managed to keep right until that exact moment. Suddenly everything was achingly real, and even before she could actually realize it, her body started shaking violently with sobs.

“You promised me you'd keep him safe!” Snake wasn't aware of it, but she was screaming. Her throat hurt like Hell, but in the craziness of it all, she felt like she deserved it. She'd never tried to get her brother back, she was never there beside him when he needed her. And now Kip was dead. Not even Happy managed to save him. “Why didn't you?”

“Nobody is ever safe, in this life.” It was the absolute truth, the rightest thing somebody could ever say about that situation. But Snake didn't need something true, or right. She just needed _—_ wanted, deserved _—_ a break. She was so young, and had already suffered so much... Was she really that cursed?

Tears were still streaming down her cheeks, and Happy would have tried wiping them away if only he wasn't so scared Snake would bolt. She was experiencing so much pain, and anger, and hatred. With no one other than Happy to direct all of that at, she started hitting his chest. It wasn't hard _—_ she had no strenght for that _—_ nor hurtful, so Happy just let her be, hoping that'd be enough to relieve some of her pain.

He just held her close for as long as she allowed him, but immediately let her go when Snake tried to escape his grasp. Happy said sorry for the nth time, even if he was pretty sure she wasn't listening, and watched her figure slump to the ground. Snake was exhausted, so much she thought she wouldn't be able to cry anymore. Of course, she was wrong. She barely felt the hard concrete floor scratch her legs, and immediately started weeping again, her pain now also physical.

Happy brought one of his hands on her head, gently caressing her blonde hair. It wasn't something he'd ever done for anybody, and the gesture felt awkward, to say the least. Snake didn't even notice. She was too busy trying to regain some breath. After what felt like centuries, Happy saw her somewhat calm again and was filled with sudden gratefulness.

“How I wish this wasn't my life...” Snake stuttered, her voice hoarse and nose still runny. Happy didn't say anything, just silently agreed. Snake didn't mind it one bit. In other occasions, his silences had been irritating and too heavy for her likings. In that exact moment, Happy's presence was all she needed. He was there for her, and that was more than enough. Gripping the worn–out material of his blue jeans, Snake _—_ still sitting on the ground _—_ laid her head against Happy's leg and just whispered: “Please, don't leave me.”

Nobody did. Even if they barely knew her, each and every member of the Sons of Anarchy had been there for her when she needed it the most. Snake had spent what felt like centuries crying in Tara's arms, and their bond grew so strong, so quickly. She'd been there with Kip, in his last moments, and never stopped telling Snake about how brave and good he'd been.

Despite all of that, she'd never felt more alone.

Kip's ghost haunted her every single moment, and after the fifth night of the entire clubhouse being startled awake by Snake's screams, Happy had decided to sleep with her. It was the first time they were reunited in little less than a year, but in moments like that it almost felt like they never grew apart. Snake knew none of that would last _—_ and that when it'd come to its rightful end, she'd feel even more heartbroken _—_ and yet, she couldn't help being grateful for it.

Many seasons had changed, and Happy looked different, now _—_ and not at all, at the same time _—_ but that could never alter what she felt. She'd been in love with him for years, and suspected she'd always be, no matter what.

When Happy came back to his room at the clubhouse, that night, his eyes immediately went to Snake. She was still laying on his bed, a book in her lap. It had been weeks since she arrived to Charming and she'd spent most of that time holed up in his room, trying to distract herself in any possible way. As soon as she heard the door open, her eyes moved away from the page she absolutely couldn't focus on, and went to look for Happy's figure. He stayed still, near the entrance, just silently watching as Snake discarded her book on the bed before getting up. He was literally the only person who could achieve that much.

“I missed you,”, she whispered, so close to his lips he could already predict what was going to happen next. Exactly what had started happening every night, every day, every single moment they spent together _—_ and that was _a lot_ , since Snake literally couldn't stay away from him. She was so scared of being alone and got so sad every time he had to leave for work or club business, Happy had started feeling guilty for having to be separated from her.

He knew it wasn't good, that's why he'd tried so hard to resist her. With time, though, he understood just how much Snake needed something _—_ anything _—_ to distract her, relieve her of the costant pain she still felt and all the bad memories it brought along. She kept herself busy every way she could, because she knew if she stopped thinking _—_ even just for one second _—_ her heart wouldn't make it. And if Happy could help with that, then he would.

That's why he let her kiss him _—_ that's why he let her do anything, always. Snake just needed to stand on her tip–toes, latch her plump lips onto his, and Happy was already too far gone to care about what was right and wrong. In moments like that, the only thing on his mind was her well–being _—_ even if it couldn't last forever, even if it was just a temporary solution to a permanent problem.

One of his hands went briefly behind her head _—_ through her blonde, messy hair _—_ wanting to feel her closer. It didn't look like she'd brushed it at all, that day, unsurprisingly. Most of the times, Snake didn't even have the strenght to wake up in the morning, let alone do her hair or make–up. She didn't look as _perfect_ as she used to _—_ her skin was dry and her eye bags terribly dark _—_ and even if she was wearing nothing other than one of his old SAMCRO t–shirts _—_ which he only realized when one of his hands caressed the writings on her breasts, eliciting a soft moan from her lips _—_ she still looked incredibly beautiful in Happy's eyes.

Snake cupped his cheeks briefly, before both her hands started going down his neck and chest. As soon as she reached his crotch and felt how turned on he already was _—_ and they'd done nothing more than just kiss _—_ her lips detached from his and Happy could hear her soft, amused laugh.

“What's so funny, _mama_?”, he rasped, picking her up so unexpectedly Snake shrieked, latching both her arms around his neck in fear she'd lose her balance and fall. Happy would never allow that, and Snake was well aware of it, but she still couldn't help feeling scared for a moment.

“You're already so hard.” Snake chuckled. She was laughing so much now, and Happy had tossed her on his bed so hard she could barely breathe.

They kept kissing sloppily, and Happy was still caressing her naked, long legs when he asked: “And whose fault is that?”

“Guilty as charged.” Snake conceded, her natural pout shaping into a cocky grin, as her fingers went to grab Happy's kutte. It was one of her usual silent orders: get rid of it. Get rid of _everything._ Happy obeyed quickly.

As soon as his boxers were out of the picture, too, Snake reversed their positions and forced Happy to lay on his back. He could have shown resistance, but he absolutely didn't want to. If the hunger in Snake's eyes was any indication of what he thought _—_ and hoped _—_ she was about to do next, there was no good reason at all to stop her.

As expected, her lips wrapped around his dick shortly after. Happy groaned, closing his eyes and tilting his head back against his pillow, trying so _hard_ not to come right then and there. Through all his life, he had received many blowjobs, but none of them compared to Snake's.

“You're a goddess,”, he groaned, one of his tattooed hands running through her blonde hair again. Snake's lips _—_ still wrapped around the tip of his cock _—_ curled up in a satisfied smile, and Happy had to stop himself from shoving her head down, hard, so that she'd finally take all of it inside her mouth. Happy knew she could do that without too much effort, but it still wouldn't have felt right to force her to. She'd get there, with time.

And she did, of course. Happy felt her soft, wet tongue lick his shaft briefly before she rose back up again and opened her mouth to take as much as she could fit inside. What she couldn't reach was covered by her hands, which went up and down from his shaft to his balls. As soon as Snake _finally_ started sucking him off for real, loud as ever, Happy was on the verge of orgasm once again.

“Yes, beautiful, just like that,”, he praised her, his hand still on Snake's head. He was trying so hard to keep his rough side at bay, letting her dictate the pace, even if he wanted so bad to just fuck her mouth 'till she gagged on him and couldn't breathe anymore. Just imagining it had Happy close his eyes again, and when Snake detached from his cock to get rid of her _— his —_ t–shirt, he sighed heavily. He was exhausted, on the verge of insanity, and they'd only just begun.

Things got worse as soon as Snake went back to his dick, her naked boobs now brushing against Happy's leg, skin on skin. “Don't fucking stop,”, he ordered, even if he knew how useless it was. Snake would never stop, unless she decided to. She could have kept sucking his cock for hours on end, and it looked like that was exactly what she intended to do that day. Happy let her be. What Snake wanted, Snake got. Especially if it brought him so much pleasure, too.

His tolerance had a limit, though, and he absolutely didn't want to come before he was balls–deep inside her _—_ so Happy _had_ to stop Snake, eventually. “Come here,”, he ordered, one hand squeezing her boobs, while the other pulled her against him. They never needed much conversation, especially in bed. Snake, in fact, immediately understood exactly what Happy wanted and sat on his lap.

Happy's hands grabbed her ass _—_ still covered by her blue, cotton panties _—_ harshly, and Snake hissed both in pain and pleasure, while she lifted herself on her knees. As soon as her boobs were just inches away from his face, Happy couldn't help smiling like a madman. It was finally _his_ turn to have fun.

“I swear you like my boobs more than me.” Snake pouted _—_ or at least she would have, if only she wasn't so busy moaning and writhing. He'd barely touched her, and she was already so needy and desperate.

“Guilty as charged.” Happy smiled, his mocking tone earning a glare from Snake. “You're so hot.”

Snake's only answer was another moan, and a series of: “Yes, _yes_ ,”, meaning she was appreciating him worshipping her breasts very much. That's why Happy kept going, his tongue swirling around one of her hard nipples while his other hand played with the boob he sadly couldn't fit in his mouth.

Snake squeezed Happy's throbbing dick so suddenly he had to stop sucking on her boobs just to gasp. She was getting impatient. A little smile curled his lips upwards, while his hands made quick work of her panties. As soon as she was completely naked, too, Snake sat down on his lap again and ground her wet pussy against his cock. “Please,”, she begged, her lips only inches away from his. “I need you.”

“Not yet, princess.” Happy didn't say anything else, just shoved her on her back. His tongue had barely brushed against her pussy and Snake was already losing her mind. Happy saw her play with her own boobs, her eyes closed, breathing heavily. She was trying so desperately to lift her hips towards his face, so that he'd be even closer to her aching core, but Happy had pinned them to the mattress. Oh, how he loved being in charge.

“Oh my God, that feels so good.” Snake was almost sobbing, her voice hoarser than ever. That alone turned Happy on even more, as he started sucking on her clit harder, one of his hands going to her boobs again. Snake instantly intertwined their fingers. “Hap, I'm gonna cum.”

Oh, and she did. Amazingly, too. When Happy finally decided to let her breathe, Snake was still shaking. She didn't waste much time, though, because as soon as she regained some breath, she was on top of Happy. She _loved_ that.

“Are you ready for me?” Happy asked her, his hands on her hips while he guided himself to her entrance. Finally.

“Always.”

_And Love will tell you_

_you are beautiful_

_and mean it_

_over and over again_

“I want to know about Luz.” Happy had barely closed the door to his room when he talked again, and Snake visibly jumped, all the air escaping her throat. A little while after she'd arrived at the Sons of Anarchy's clubhouse, that evening, Happy had asked her to talk. They were completely alone, and it just felt suffocating.

“What?”, she stuttered, so scared she couldn't even move. Happy was still behind her, and she could feel his gaze boring holes through her skull. In another Universe, where everything was rightful and easier, she would have felt happiness at the sole thought of Happy showing the slightest interest towards his daughter. Not in this one, though.

Happy moved to face her, then asked: “How could _that_ happen?”, one of his fingers pointing to his right.

Bile filled her throat as soon as Snake realized he was talking about Luz, who she'd left in the room beside theirs with Tara. Since Happy knew about her already, there was no point in hiding any longer. That's why she'd brought her along to the clubhouse, hoping things there would be pretty chill. Most members were out on club duty, in fact, and Snake had found herself waiting for them to come back.

Jax was apparently busy discussing shit with the head of the Galindo cartel, Romeo Parada. If Snake didn't already have so much on her plate, she would have laughed at the hypocrisy the Sons of Anarchy showed by acting disgusted at the sole thought of dealing drugs while being in bed with a _goddamn cartel._

She had no time to judge, though. The Dragon had finally accepted to meet her, and she needed to figure out the smarter way to do that. SAMCRO still had to vote on whether or not to help her with guns, but they had already assured her protection against Dewei.

“Generally, you need to have sex, to get pregnant,”, she spat, faking some kind of calmness she obviously didn't have anymore. Her lips curled up in a smug smile, which irritated Happy even more. Exactly what he deserved. “And we had lots of it, after my brother's funeral. Remember?”

“I was always careful.”

“Clearly not enough. I'm not sure when or how it happened, but it did.” Snake crossed her arms over her chest, covered by nothing other than a white oversized t–shirt. “She's yours, Happy. I wish she wasn't, but she is. Why would I lie about something like this?”

“You shouldn't have told me. This is so fucked up.”

Even before she could actually realize it, Snake started laughing hysterically. She absolutely couldn't believe what exactly was going on. “So, first you made me feel guilty about not telling you, because you _deserved to know_ ,”, she quoted Happy's words, “and now you've changed your mind? Grow a pair, Happy, for fuck's sake.”

Fear had had her frozen in one spot for what felt like centuries, but now, rage was even stronger. Barely aware of what exactly she was doing, Snake moved in Happy's direction and shoved at his chest, hard. She was so, so tired of him constantly running away from her, too scared to accept his feelings and actually do something about them.

“Do not,”, Happy painfully squeezed her wrists, trying to stop her hits, and Snake instantly knew they'd bruise, “talk to me like that, princess.”

“Or what?” She wasn't scared, not anymore. Her green eyes _—_ full of hatred _—_ met Happy's for just a moment, and a burning desire to just kiss him 'till they were both out of breath overwhelmed her. They were only millimeters apart, and by the way Happy was staring at her lips, she knew they were on the same wave–length. How pathetic.

“I'm not asking anything of you. I don't need money, I'm okay with you staying out of Luz's life completely. But _never_ disrespect her again,”, she managed to whisper, as soon as Happy let her go. Snake _—_ suddenly feeling exhausted _—_ hoped he could feel the honesty in her voice. As soon as her eyes got glassy with tears, she felt even more stupid.

Because Snake still loved him so much she could only cry, wishing this wasn't her life. In another Universe, her and Happy were together. He was accepting of Luz, understanding of how important she was. That little baby had arrived when she needed her the most, showing her she wasn't as alone as she thought, even though she'd just lost her step–brother and the love of her life. Luz was her _light_ at the end of the tunnel.

In this Universe, though, they weren't together _—_ and probably would never be. Happy talked about Luz as if she was something disgusting, and didn't want anything to do with her. Snake would have given everything to be able to have Luz with her all the time, without having to hide her and pretend she wasn't hers. It was incredible and unacceptable that Happy, on the other hand, didn't want her even if he could actually have her.

Not wanting to cry in front of him, Snake just went for the door. They were done talking, anyways.

Not according to Happy, though. “Where do you think you're going?”

Snake turned around for the last time, one of her hands already pulling the door open, and swore she could see a hint of remorse on Happy's face. Too bad it wasn't enough. “Stay the fuck away from us.”

Tara took one last step in Snake's direction, and as soon as she was basically beside her, the latter moved her green eyes on Jax's Old Lady and just observed: “Rough day, uh?”

After her weird encounter with Happy _—_ Tara had no idea what had happened between the two of them, but knew it couldn't be anything nice _—_ Snake had left his room at the clubhouse in a hurry, collecting Luz from Tara's arms and just sprinting outside like her life depended on it.

“I'm more worried about you.”

Snake laughed bitterly, taking yet another drag of her cigarette. Tara watched her figure lull slowly on the swing she was seated on. “Everything's just... So different.”

So much could change in two years, but Snake had seemed to realize that a little too late. Not even TM was the same, and now, with the Sons of Anarchy's clubhouse and garage, came even a little play area for kids. Luz was enjoying it to the fullest.

“You'll probably have a lot of questions.” Tara agreed. “I don't know if I'm gonna be able to answer all of them, but I can try.”

Of course she did. There were so many things Snake wanted to ask she didn't even know where to start. After some moments of deep silence, she decided to settle on the most painful detail. “I saw a lot of black bands on the wall.”

“Yeah. It's been rough. Club lost two members.” Tara shook her head, trying to ease some of the pain she still _—_ almost inexplicably _—_ felt. “Opie, his father. Tig, one of his daughters.”

“Oh, my God.” Snake gasped, her heart breaking a little for two of the members she'd learned to care the most about. “I had no idea.” Because she'd been away for too long, she'd lost so many things. It almost felt as if they were all back to step one: strangers, people she didn't know much about, people who she needed so much help from.

As soon as Luz started running in her direction, her little hands grabbing her black Adidas leggins, Snake gave her cigarette to Tara and stood up, ready to grant her daughter's wish of riding on one of the swings.

“How old is she?” The doctor asked, exhaling a cloud of smoke and then smiling tenderly at the scene unfolding in front of her eyes.

“Almost two.”

“A little older than my Thomas.”

Snake looked for Tara's face, one of her eyebrows raised in confusion. “ _Yours_?”

“Me and Jax had a little boy.”

“Congratulations!”

If that shocked her, Tara couldn't wait to see what her _wedding ring_ would do to Snake. “And we even got married. Less than three hours ago,”, she said with a cheeky smile, showing her hand to her.

Snake almost winced, as images of Jax _—_ Chibs, Tig, and Opie, too _—_ getting arrested filled her head again. “Fuck. Nice honeymoon, uh?”

Tara shrugged. “Bobby just got out. And now the other guys... It's a never–ending nightmare.”

“What nice timing. You already have so many problems and here I come, begging for help. I feel so guilty.”

“Hey.” Tara got rid of her cigarette, her free hand now flying on Snake's shoulder. “Don't. I'm sure club will help you no matter what. You're family to us, babe. It won't be easy, nor fast. But we'll figure it out.”

“Yeah, sure.” Snake nodded, wiping her cheeks dry. Damn, she felt so emotional all the fucking time. “I know.”

Tara gave her a little smile, then crouched down in front of Luz and started playing with her, before asking: “Are you staying in town?”

“Not really. Got a motel room just outside Charming.”

“Good. We've been dealing with a lot of home invasions, lately,”, then, her eyes found Luz's, “This isn't a safe place for little princesses.”

Snake gulped. She'd been trying so bad to ignore the biggest elephant in the room, deciding _—_ even if she didn't really know why _—_ not to ask anything about Tara's hand, which was covered by a long cast. As soon as the danger–speech was out, though, her eyes went back to it and she couldn't help but say: “And lady doctors.”

She couldn't know, and yet Snake was pretty sure her injury had something to do with the club. Charming wasn't a safe place for _anyone_. And Tara's sudden silence was just confirmation of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait, but life has been... Difficult. Let's just say that.  
> I have more chapters ready, and will hopefully post them regularly / get back to writing. As always, let me know what you think. Comments and kudos are very appreciated.


	5. Another piece of my heart, just layin' on the ground.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> find me on twitter @JAYBAEAOM

No matter how much Snake hated Sal, Tony, and basically _everything_ about the Joneses: Bakersfield was her home. She'd been living there most of her life, and the city held so many memories _—_ both wonderful and heartbreaking _—_ that even though it had become a toxic place to be in, with time, Snake still struggled with stayin' away from it.

Charming wasn't that much better, and since she'd arrived, Snake had been fighting against the weirdest form of anxiety. She just felt on edge all the fucking time, her breath short and the inexplicable fear of something really bad coming her way. With nothing much to do about it _—_ Snake had control over many things, but her feelings had never been part of the lucky mix _—_ she just tried to relax every way she could.

Another pretty uneventful day had went by, but even before Snake could actually think that maybe _—_ just _maybe —_ she'd been wrong and everything would be alright, she heard someone knocking on her room door. Still wearing nothing more than her lacy underwear and floral nightgown _—_ it was her favourite, a personal version of a ‘security blanket’ _—_ Snake retrieved her gun from the vanity and went for the door.

As soon as Tara's figure entered her vision, she got rid of the weapon and squealed, hugging her close. Despite Irene and Luz being there with her, Snake had never felt as alone as she did those past few days. After Jax, Tig, Chibs and Opie got arrested, she'd just been spending time with her daughter and trying to ease herself: everything was fine, there was absolutely no reason to worry. And yet.

“Sorry, my hair is all wet.” Snake chirped, backing away from Tara. Just seeing her _—_ another _friendly_ face, finally _—_ was enough to push all her concerns to the back of her mind.

Too bad Tara didn't seem as enthusiastic. “Are you okay?” Snake asked then, letting her in and going to the vanity again. Before Jax's Old Lady interrupted her, Snake had just finished having a long bath, and was about to blow dry her platinum blonde hair.

Tara stayed silent for a little bit, just watching her. Snake was facing the mirror, a brush in her hand, clearly ready to start combing. “Boys got released from jail.”

Snake stopped mid–motion, her mouth falling open with shock, while she went to look for Tara's face again. “Babe, that's amazing!”, she exclaimed, struggling to believe everything actually got sorted out _that quick._ The doctor's frown, though, made her dubious again. “Isn't it?”

“They're having Church, now. Voting on whether or not to help you with guns.” Tara said, and Snake pretended _—_ even if just for a moment _—_ not to notice her attempt to change topic, evading her question.

“Okay,”, she nodded, cautious. “So why do you look this sad?”

“Opie didn't make it.”

Her sudden shock had Snake trembling, and even before she could notice, the hairbrush she'd been holding fell to the ground. “W–What?”, she stuttered, trying hard to fake some kind of composure. Maybe it was all just a big misunderstanding...

“He was murdered in county.” _Or not_.

Snake felt her legs go wobbly, and gripped the wood of her vanity table, afraid she'd fall at any moment. “How?”, she asked, as soon as she'd managed to sit down on the edge of her double bed.

“Retaliation against the club. I can't tell you much more, sorry.” Even if the Sons of Anarchy _—_ and everyone affiliated with them _—_ considered her family, she still didn't deserve to know all the details about what they did and why. Snake was okay with it, since she knew names and motives wouldn't change the fact that Opie was _dead._ And there was nothing they could do about it. “Wake's tonight. Just came to give you a heads up, in case you wanted to say goodbye.”

Snake didn't, actually. With time, she'd learned to hate goodbyes with a burning passion. She was so fucking sick and tired of always having to let people go, one way or another. But she didn't want to show Tara how selfish she could be, so Snake just nodded. They both stayed silent for a little bit, before she observed: “There's something else you're not telling me.”

No matter how little time they'd spend together, Snake just _knew_. A single glance in Tara's direction was enough for her to understand. Jax's Old Lady didn't even try to deny it. She crossed her arms under her breasts, trying to hug herself and feel safer, then said: “It's about Abel.”

“What? Is he sick again?”

“No. Thankfully, no.” Tara shook her head frantically. “It's just... You know I'm not his mother, right?”

“Babe, please. Of course _you are_. You fucking raised him. And you did such a good job at it, too.” Snake tried smiling, getting as close to the doctor as she needed to be to caress one of her arms. “And yes, he may not be yours, biologically speaking. But does that even matter?”

Again, Tara avoided her question. And her gaze. “Wendy showed up. She's sober, now, and wants Abel to know about her.”

Snake had to suppress her urge to squirm. That didn't sound good at all. “I don't think I'm the right person for this,”, she admitted, trying to busy herself with her hair again. She felt so embarrassed, all of a sudden. “I, just like Wendy, had to leave both my kids. Different reasons, same outcome. I can't help sympathizing with her. I'm sorry.”

“Don't be.” Tara whispered, briefly covering her face with her healthy hand. “Fuck. I'm just... Scared I'll lose Abel.”

“Babe, you won't. Believe me, I speak from experience.” And maybe, that was exactly why Tara had decided to talk to her. “Luz just _knows_ she has two mommies, and at the end of the day, she's completely fine with it. Me being away from her and Jaime almost all the fucking time doesn't make them love me any less. That's what I adore about kids: they have no evil inside them. No matter what happens with Abel, you'll always be his mom.”

Tara had disappeared into Gemma's office as soon as she got out of her car, so Snake was left all on her own in the middle of TM's parking lot. She felt a sudden urge to just run back to her motel and sleep all her problems away, because she sure as Hell wouldn't be able to face them alone.

And yet, she didn't. She just shivered _—_ from the cold or fear, she didn't really know _—_ moving her hands up and down the sleeves of her black shirt, then walked towards the Sons of Anarchy's clubhouse. She'd only been to Charming a couple of times, and had to attend a funeral during both of them. It all just felt so absurd and unfair. History was repeating itself, and she didn't like that one bit.

By the time Snake reached the door, her nausea had become so strong and intrusive she was convinced she'd faint at any moment. Paralyzed near the entrance, unable to go in and relive what looked like an exact replica of the day she had to say goodbye to her step–brother, Snake just let her dark green gaze _—_ full of sadness _—_ wonder around.

The clubhouse was filled to the brim with people, and yet, it was so, so silent. No one felt the need to speak, because, of course, what could be said in a moment like that? Still looking around, Snake briefly found the Sons of Anarchy. They were all standing in front of Chapel _—_ from where she was, she could only see a big coffin through the open doors _—_ wearing total black, standing so close to each other.

Snake felt suffocating, and things got only worse as soon as her eyes met Happy's. He stared at her from across the room, his face blank. Suddenly, memories of their last encounter _—_ of all the nasty things he'd said to her just a couple of days before _—_ started swirling around her head, and Snake moved a step backwards, wanting to escape before she couldn't hold her tears in anymore.

Despite how childish it could sound or look, crying honestly was everything she could do. Happy didn't care about her, he didn't need her nor love her. And even though she knew all that, Snake still found herself wanting nothing more than for him to just hold her.

After running, and running, and running _—_ as far away from the Sons of Anarchy's clubhouse as possible _—_ Snake had managed to find Tara again, and stopped dead in her tracks. She was sitting in the garage, a cigarette between her index and middle finger. A single glance in her direction was all the doctor needed to understand how much distress her friend was in at that exact moment.

“Rough day, uh?”, she asked, mimicking the words Snake had said after the boys left for county.

“Too many ghosts coming back to haunt me,”, she confirmed, sitting beside Tara. The doctor hadn't been around at all, and even if Snake was curious to know why, she wouldn't ask anything regarding her whereabouts. Tara being in the garage, smoking while her husband said goodbye to his best friend, was definitely _weird —_ and yet, Snake still decided to respect her privacy, knowing that if and when Tara would want to talk to her, she would. And could.

“I'm sorry, babe.” Jax's Old Lady observed, her voice tone full of sincerity. Snake grabbed the cigarette Tara was offering her and suddenly noticed her bloody knuckles, but once again decided to remain silent about it. “Maybe I shouldn't have brought you here.”

Snake just shook her head. “Shut up,”, she reprimanded, taking yet another drag of Tara's cigarette.

She couldn't stand the knowledge of her friend feeling guilty for something she absolutely shouldn't. It wasn't her fault Snake still hadn't accepted Kip's death, it wasn't her fault that even though it had been more than two years, her pain was as fresh as it would have been if only _two minutes_ had went by.

Against all odds, nicotine _—_ and Tara's presence _—_ managed to calm her down, numbing all her unpleasant thoughts. They both sat there, smoking in absolute silence, until there was nothing left of the cigarette they'd decided to share. Then, Tara stood up on slightly wobbly legs and offered Snake one of her hands. Their fingers interlaced, both women came out of the garage just in time to see the Sons of Anarchy lay Opie's black coffin in the hearse.

As soon as Opie's funeral was done, Snake had went back to her motel, asked Irene to keep Luz with her since she felt so exhausted and devastated, wished the both of them a goodnight, and then entered her room again. After changing into her usual mise of lingerie and silky nightgown, she started feeling restless once more. She knew she wouldn't be able to sleep at all, but had no idea what she'd do until the Sun rose back up. Before she could actually have time to think about that thoroughly, someone knocked on her door and Snake immediately went to open it _—_ welcoming that distraction with open arms, her gun in hand.

It took her some time to discard it, the realization of _Happy Lowman_ being in front of her coming a little too late for her liking. He didn't say anything, as always, standing still by the threshold and just waiting for her to lower her guard _—_ even if he wasn't so sure she'd ever do that, honestly. He couldn't blame her.

“Motion passed. We'll sell you guns.” Happy started, as soon as Snake seemed to look a little more relaxed. With everything that went down, the Sons of Anarchy didn't have any time to tell her the results of their vote. And she deserved to know. But did he go all the way down there just for that? “Jax will set up another meeting with you, to discuss shipping and _—_ ”

Snake interrupted him before he could finish. “I don't wanna talk about business, Happy.”

She sounded so sad and tired that, despite everything, Happy couldn't help but ask: “What do you wanna talk about, then?”

Snake simply shrugged, backing away from him. No matter how hard it was, Happy was offering her a chance to vent and get rid of all her bad feelings. He was there, willing to really listen to her, and Snake's eyes filled with tears at the thought of just how _caring_ he was capable of being when he actually wanted to.

Too bad she wasn't ready to talk yet. She wasn't ready to do anything, right at that moment.

So she just went to her nightstand, retrieving a joint and lighting it up. She'd left her room door open, and Happy understood _—_ even without her telling him; because, as always, they didn't need much conversation _—_ she simply wanted him to be there for her: silently, just like she'd learned to love.

So Happy complied, willing to do anything he could to make sure she felt better. Maybe things between them didn't work out _—_ and probably never would _—_ but that didn't mean he didn't care about her pain. Maybe he wasn't the best at showing it, and didn't even know how to put _all that_ into words _—_ this time, Snake didn't even let him try _—_ but he actually, truly didn't want her to suffer anymore. Not even for him.

Snake suddenly knew that, and was immensely grateful for it. Barely holding in a sob, she turned to look at Happy's profile _—_ he had sat down beside her on the moquette _—_ and offered him her joint.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To Godfrey Gao, because Dewei had his face even before I actually knew what I'd do with this story. Thank you for being so incredibly inspiring, and good, and talented. You'll be missed.


	6. You've been out all night, diggin' my grave.

It'd been less than a week since Opie's funeral and Happy had spent basically all his free time with Snake. They didn't talk much, but everything felt right and familiar _—_ a bitter reminder of what they'd gone through after Kip had passed away a couple of years earlier. Only this time, things between them weren't as good.

Despite that, Happy didn't trust her to be alone _—_ paranoid something bad would happen to her or Luz _—_ and didn't even want her to be. As long as Snake let him be beside her, he would.

That afternoon, it was his female two–years–old version opening the door for him _—_ and he was so, so ready to scold her ‘mami’ about how dangerous that could have been. Too bad Happy's words died in his throat as soon as he saw Snake running out of the bathroom, nothing but a short towel covering her body.

“I'll get dressed,”, she managed to whisper, after they spent what felt like centuries just staring at each other. In Happy's case, he also had to fight the urge to take her right then and there. Fuck. Being so beautiful _had_ to be a crime, for sure.

Her cheeks still burning hot from embarrassment, Snake heard Luz chanting Happy's name _—_ she loved sayin' it, even if no one actually understood why _—_ and rushed to get her jumpsuit on, so that she could be with them before _their_ daughter managed to annoy Happy for real.

Luz had grown accustomed to his presence fairly easy _—_ Snake still didn't know if it was a good or a bad thing _—_ and Happy just kept looking at her excited little figure jumping around, before one of her little hands closed on the chain dangling from his jeans.

“What are you hiding there, missy?” Happy asked in a low tone, noticing the kid kept her other hand behind her back.

Luz raised her dark eyes to his face, giving him one of her goofiest smiles. Then: “ _Candie_ ,”, she chirped, showing Happy her little treasure. “Nene give it to me.”

“Did you say thanks?” Snake exited the bathroom before Happy could reply, and Luz's attention went to her immediately.

She ran in her direction _—_ wearing nothing more than a nappy and a plaid on her shoulders _—_ then said: “Tank you,”, with the softest little voice.

Snake laughed, picking the baby up and gently ruffling her black hair. “Not to me, silly.”

As soon as she tried to get her dressed, Luz started whining. Of course. “She _hates_ clothes.” Snake explained to Happy, trying to stifle another laugh. He looked so, so much on the verge of a mental breakdown.

Eventually _—_ after lots and lots of compromising and disguised threats _—_ Luz was ready for the day, and started jumping around again. Irene had promised her they'd go grocery shopping, and the baby could barely hold her excitement in.

It wasn't the first time Happy had seen the both of them together, and yet, the realization of what a _good_ mom Snake actually was _—_ despite everything _—_ still hit him hard. Dealing with a fussy toddler without losing her temper? As much as he liked kids _—_ and he actually did; when they weren't his own, at least _—_ Happy would never be able to achieve that much. Or so he thought.

“Are you gonna help mami with her hair?” Snake asked, retrieving a flat iron from her suitcase.

Luz accepted immediately, sitting on the carpet beside her, before she started playing with her mom's platinum blonde locks and make–up. Over the years, Snake's hair had grown so much that it now covered basically all her back. As shocking as it could sound, Happy found her even more attractive.

Luz seemed to like her hair, too, because _—_ as he'd noticed _—_ she never gave the occasion to play with it up. “She does that all the time,”, he observed, pointing a finger in the baby's direction.

“Yeah.” Snake nodded. “I think it's sort of a comfort thing, for her.”

Indeed. Basically every single time she could, Luz just _had_ to run or tangle her little fingers through Snake's locks _—_ caresses, tugs, whatever. She was okay with any form of contact. It even managed to calm her down when she was stressed or tired. She was, in fact, part of the reason why Snake had decided to let it grow that long.

By the time she was done straightening her hair, a knock came on her room door and Luz _— again_ _—_ went to open it. Happy almost growled. As soon as the baby saw Irene, she completely forgot about everything and everyone and just tried evading.

“Hey!” Snake exclaimed, sounding almost offended. It was the first time Happy heard her kinda scream at Luz, and it felt so odd. When the baby turned around to look at her, though, Snake's expression softened and she just asked _—_ with the cutest little pout: “Where's my goodbye kiss?”

Luz immediately complied, pecking her mother's lips before she went back to her babysitter. As soon as the room door closed behind the both of them, Happy declared: “She scares the living shit out of me.”

Snake stayed silent for a bit, not completely understanding what exactly he meant. “Why?”, she asked, wishing Happy wouldn't evade her question. Even though he'd been there _with Luz_ for some time now, they never really talked about her. No matter how much Snake would have liked that.

“She looks exactly like me, but has your personality.”

“Thank fucking God.”

Happy rolled his eyes, feigning annoyance. He was actually amused, though, and nostalgic. It didn't happen very often, but there had been moments in which old–bratty–Snake took the best of her and brought him back to what and how she used to be when they were together in Bakersfield and everything was right and easier.

He was almost about to give in to the urge of erasing her cocky grin with a kiss when his phone started ringing. Luckily.

Even while pretending she was too busy tidying up her room _—_ Happy _hated_ the mess _—_ Snake heard everything he said to the person on the other side of the phone, trying to understand what exactly was going on. Without succeeding.

“I have to go.” Happy simply explained as soon as he was done.

“Is everything okay?”

“Tig and Phil need help.” There were bodies to bury, but Snake didn't need to know that. “I'll have V–Lin stay with you.”

“I can protect myself.” Yeah. Or at least that's what she always used to say. Five years before Happy had immediately called bullshit, but he wasn't so sure he could do the same now. Time seemed to really have hardened Snake _—_ she looked way tougher than when they first met, an even more grown–up version of the amazing little woman she always was. But could she actually take care of herself?

Not wanting to risk it, Happy just shrugged. “I don't care.”

“Hap, seriously. I have a gun on my fucking nightstand. And I'm locking myself in, alright?”

“You promise?”

“Yes, daddy.” Snake spoke with absolute innocence, and yet, Happy couldn't help grinning allusively. If it wasn't for the shock caused by his dimples _—_ which showed up so rarely Snake often wondered if they were actually real _—_ she would have hit him. “Get _out_. You weren't supposed to like that.”

Happy burst out laughing, but let her shove him to the door nonetheless. That was proving to be a much harder job than Snake thought it would: for the first time since they were reunited, Happy was actually having fun and looking relaxed. For a single moment they were able to forget all their problems and Snake almost wished he didn't have to go, so that it could last a little longer _—_ or maybe forever.

“I'll come back as soon as I'm done.” Happy declared once on the threshold, turning around to look for her tan face.

“You don't have to.”

“I want to,”, he confessed, and Snake's heart skipped a beat at that unexpected admission. “Do you?”

Trying to fake calmness, she just shrugged. “I don't mind the company.”

They stayed silent for a bit, both knowing there was nothing more to add. Snake had barely caught a glimpse of the Reaper on the back of Happy's kutte when he turned around again, refusing to leave. He talked even before she could try asking what else did he want. “Where's my goodbye kiss?”

And Snake absolutely couldn't hold her laugh in anymore. “Get the fuck out!”

She was still smiling hard when another knock came on her door minutes after. Her clammy hands immediately twisted the handle and Snake yanked it open while trying to regain some of her breath. To no avail. “Happy, I am not kissing y _—_ ”

Her words were abruptly put to a stop by sudden pain erupting from the center of her face. Someone had just punched her in the nose so hard Snake couldn't help stumbling back, almost falling to the ground.

Someone who obviously wasn't Happy Lowman.

Adrenaline coursing through her veins, Snake desperately tried to regain her balance and sprint towards the nightstand. She should have locked the door instantly, took her gun and be prepared for the worst. Just like what she'd promised Happy.

And yet, here she was. The same naïve little girl he'd met five years before, in desperate need of someone to protect her from the three masked guys who had just broke into her motel room, looking like all they wanted to do was beat her to a pulp. Some things never change.

Still running, Snake tasted her blood _—_ which had been trickling down her face from her nose to her plump lips _—_ on the tip of her tongue, and felt bile fill her throat. Oh, those assholes would pay for what they did to her. As soon as she'd retrieve her gun...

Her fingers were only a couple inches away from it when one of her attackers caught up to her, his hand on her head. He yanked her backwards by her hair, and another wave of sharp pain took the best of her. It was so much Snake couldn't help but scream and submit. She wasn't strong enough. She probably would never be.

Before she could even actually notice, she ended up on her back, the same guy who stopped her run to the gun on her, his hits unrelenting and incredibly painful. Snake tried to fight back, but it was useless. A couple of punches _—_ harder than all the other ones before _—_ split her lower lip and left eyebrow, making things even more bloody and messy.

And then it finally came to her: she couldn't retrieve her gun _—_ for now, at least _—_ but that didn't mean there weren't other _weapons_ in the room she could use. Like the broken lamp on her nightstand, which she was still so close to. Thank God.

Her fingers closed around its black wire as fast as she could and just pulled, even though she knew how stupid it was. But Snake was prepared for the worst. Things were already disastrous, anyway.

The lamp swung above her head and almost hit her square in the face, but thanks to the weirdest kind of survival instinct, Snake managed to grab it before that could happen. Or worse, even before her assailant could figure out what she was about to do.

He was down even before she could actually realize it, and Snake just shook his weight off of her and got on her feet again. In a frenzy, she finally grabbed her gun and just _shot_. One of the three men had been right in front of her, on the other side of the bed, and the bullet Snake had just fired managed to graze his shoulder. It all happened so fast she just heard him hiss in pain, one of his hands touching the new, unexpected wound. And then, all three of them were gone.

Her face bloody and swollen, breath short, gun held close to her chest so hard her knuckles turned white, shaking life a leaf, Snake took a look at the mess her attackers had left behind and started wondering why she had to be yet another victim of the infamous home invasions Tara had warned her about. Then, with no one else she trusted more, she grabbed her phone and called Chibs.

Happy barged through the doors leading to Chapel, sincerely afraid of what _—_ and who _—_ he'd find inside it. His run was immediately put to a stop the moment his black eyes landed on Snake. Chibs was in front of her, but Happy barely looked at him. The bruises on her face were all he could see and think about.

“ _No_ ,”, he growled, as if that'd change anything. He absolutely wasn't willing to accept a reality in which Snake got hurt the moment he left her alone. Just because he'd been stupid enough to believe she'd be able to protect herself. “I fucking knew this would happen.”

Of course he did. He'd been battling anxiety for days, trying to shush the voice inside his head who kept repeating things along the line of: she's not safe, here. No one is. Happy had been scared it'd drive him insane, eventually. And now, he knew just how right he was in fearing something like that could happen.

“Doll, what the Hell?” Tig asked, and Snake's swollen lips began quivering with the weight of incoming tears. Gosh, she didn't want _them_ to see her like this. She didn't deserve their worrying.

Happy seemed to notice her state, because he tried advancing in her direction again, until he reached Chibs and was forced to stop. “Move,”, he hissed, as soon as the Scot turned to face him.

“Brother,”, one of Tig's hands gripped his tattooed arm, “relax. She's fine.”

Snake gulped at that blatant lie, her throat scratchy and overall painful. She was oh–so–far from fine, and everybody knew that. Even Happy, who she tried to pacify by faking tranquility, nodding slightly in his direction.

“Exactly.” Chibs said before she could try saying something: anything. “I'm gonna finish patching her up, and you're gonna calm the fuck down. Then, you can talk.”

Happy was furious. He hated people getting involved in his business, and no matter whatever sort of bond Chibs thought he had with Snake, she still was _Happy's_ business _._ Not his. The fact his own brother was okay with going against him for her, enraged him to no end.

A simple glance in his direction was enough for Snake to know Happy was about to explode. She absolutely couldn't let that happen. That's why: “It's alright, Chibby,”, she whispered, smiling briefly at him. She knew he was just trying to protect her shaken self from Happy's inevitable wrath, delaying it _—_ because it just wasn't the right moment _—_ and couldn't help feeling grateful for it.

Chibs didn't get out of Happy's way immediately. Instead, he took some other time to carefully inspect Snake's beat–up face. She didn't know what exactly he saw, in her: maybe how much she thought she deserved Happy's rage, or how she knew he could never hurt her and had no worries about it. Maybe how much she still, despite everything and anything, needed to feel him close. Fact is, Chibs moved. Finally, silently. And Happy immediately took his place.

“Who did this to you?”, he asked, easing himself between Snake's legs. She was sitting on top of the Reaper table in the middle of Chapel, and had to resist the urge to just latch her ankles behind Happy's waist so that she could have him closer and closer. Never enough.

Happy's fingers trailed from her split eyebrow to her bruised cheekbone, finally reaching her swollen lip. It was the first time he actually _touched_ her in years, and despite the unexpected gentleness of it, Snake couldn't help hissing, the hands she had previously laid on Happy's hips squeezing them in pain. She was almost all stitched up already, but her wounds were still bleeding in some points. Happy realized it as soon as he lifted his fingers from her face to find 'em bloody, and his heart sunk. Snake's blood was on his hands. Quite literally.

“I'm sorry,”, she whimpered, her voice broken.

“Shut the fuck up.” Happy couldn't stand hearing her like that. He really was about to go crazy. That's why he tried to distract himself by getting back on track. “ _Who_ did this?”

Knowing Snake wouldn't have the strenght to talk, Chibs did it for her. “Same bastards that are after all of us, apparently. Lass says there were three of them, masked.”

Another home invasion. Out of Charming, this time. Whoever those people were, they had something against the Sons of Anarchy, and were willing to hit anyone connected to them. Even Snake, who Happy had tried _so_ hard to keep away for this reason exactly. Even Snake, who he couldn't protect. Because she didn't let him.

“I'm so mad at you,”, he rasped, his eyes evading her green, tears–filled gaze. He couldn't stand looking at her. Just another second and he'd crumble to the ground.

“I know.” Snake tried swallowing the lump in her throat, doing whatever she could not to cry. Happy was staring down at his tattooed hands laying on her thighs. She was still wearing the jumpsuit she'd changed into only hours _—_ or centuries? _—_ before, and watched Happy's fingers soil it with her blood.

Squeezing his hips again was all it took to regain his attention. Their eyes met _—_ Happy's gaze now incredibly softer _—_ but even before any of them could try adding something else, Phil's head peeked inside Chapel. “Guys,”, he said frantically. “Deputy Cane's here. Says he wants to talk to Snake.”

“You called the police?” Happy didn't know who he was asking, he just hoped somebody would answer before all his anger came back and ruined everything.

Chibs probably knew that, because he promptly said: “Lassie shot one of 'em.”

“You did?”

Snake managed a brief nod in Happy's direction, a smile threatening to curl her lips upwards. He looked so proud, all of a sudden. And he had every right to be. He was the one who had taught her, years and years before, how to handle a gun and what to do with it. If she knew even the slightest thing about protecting herself, it was only because of Happy Lowman. As always.

Luz was sleeping on the same bed she'd been conceived on only a couple years before. Realization hit Snake in the middle of the umpteenth caress she was reserving to the baby's face, halting her movements for the briefest of moments. Life always had the weirdest way to come full circle, for her. But thinking the both of them were now in Happy's dorm room at the clubhouse was straight–up absurd, considering how and when it all happened.

“Thought you'd be sleeping.” It was exactly his unique voice putting a stop to her thoughts, suddenly, but Snake didn't even turn around to look at him. She just knew Happy had to be near the entrance door as she could feel his black gaze boring holes into her back. She was still dressed, on top of the covers. Getting tucked in would be useless: Snake already knew she'll get no rest, that night. And probably, all the others to come.

“I can't.”

Happy nodded, even if he was well aware she couldn't see him. Then, he closed the door and reached the other side of the room. As soon as he found himself sitting in front of Snake, he said: “Rat called. Irene got home safely.”

Right after her due chat with the police, Snake had let Irene and Luz join the rest of them at the Sons of Anarchy's clubhouse. Happy had no idea what she told the babysitter _—_ or _their_ baby, for that matter _—_ but one way or another she'd convinced Irene to leave. Charming wasn't a safe place for her, and Snake couldn't risk her getting hurt. Irene was a good girl, who had absolutely nothing to do with the awful life they all lived. And Snake needed to keep things that way.

“Thanks,”, she whispered, her eyes never leaving Luz's figure. She'd looked a little confused, initially, asking why _Nene_ had to suddenly go back home and why they weren't sleeping at the motel anymore. But luckily, the tiredness of a whole day spent outside won over her, and she just fell asleep right after touching Happy's bed.

“Why didn't you let her take the baby?”

“Because I'm scared the moment I'll take my eyes off of her, she'll get hurt.”

Just like what had happened to her. Happy winced, resting his elbows on his knees and trying desperately to catch Snake's gaze. Knowing he wouldn't succeed, he just said: “She won't. I'll make sure of that.”

Snake snorted. It was unconscious, not really as if she felt like laughing at Happy or the situation in general. And yet, she couldn't help it. Her life really looked like a joke, sometimes. The worst of them, too. “Gemma's right. I _am_ a bad mom.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Happy tried to stay calm, but his voice betrayed incoming anger. Snake knew how irritated that discovery made him. In another occasion, she wouldn't have told him about the little chat she unfortunately had with Charming's queen. Exactly because she knew how he'd react. Weakness made her do crazy things, though.

“The other day she called me selfish and lazy, because I'm not raising my kids. I know it's true. But I also know it's for the best,”, she explained, moving some dark hair away from Luz's face. She needed to see all of her clearly to have even the slightest hint of peace of mind. “Look what I do the moment I have one of them with me: I take her to a fucking _warzone_.”

She wasn't looking at him, and yet, Snake still heard Happy jump out of his seat, as if he'd been unexpectedly burned from it. Without no other clue regarding his intentions _—_ and still refusing to look at him _—_ Snake realized how close he was a little too late for her liking. To be more specific, only when Happy grabbed one of her arms and grumbled: “Cynthia, stop _._ ”

“Don't you dare.” Her voice came out shaky, and Snake didn't know what exactly she wanted him _not_ to do. Don't you dare call me Cynthia? Don't you dare tell me to stop? Don't you dare try to get me away from my daughter?

Fact is, Happy understood. Their eyes met for only the briefest of moments and he instantly let her arm go, leaving her free to cuddle up against Luz once again. “You're speaking nonsense, because you're exhausted and hurt. And I get it,”, he observed, retreating for the door once again. He'd keep an eye on them, but wouldn't sleep in that room. Not actually because he didn't want to, but because he was pretty sure _Snake_ didn't. “Goodnight.”

Only moments before Happy could close the door behind himself, her voice reached his ears once again. “I know you have so much shit to deal with already, but so do I. I'm done wasting time. I'm meeting the Dragon tomorrow. With or without you.” A short pause, before Snake went back to talking, her tone now even more hollow than before. “Then, I'm taking my baby back to Bakersfield. Where she has the quiet, normal life she deserves. Away from all this.”

Happy didn't say anything. Because honestly, what more was there to add? He perfectly knew Snake was right. Bakersfield, the peaceful home in which she grew up with people he knew nothing about, was everything Luz needed. Nothing more, nothing less.

And yet, closing the room's door behind himself with a loud thump, Happy couldn't help feeling furious again. Because it wasn't right, no matter how much Snake tried believing otherwise. Because, as twisted as it could sound or look, some part of him sincerely believed Luz's place was in Charming. Because no matter how dangerous it could be, that's where her _real_ family was. And Happy knew better than anyone else you could never escape from things like that, regardless of how much you tried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yell at me on twitter @JAYBAEAOM or tumblr kingseungsik / lenarchive.


End file.
